Hamasat: the Prophet's counsels to women

'Hamasat' ('Whispers') is the name under which the Assabile archive keeps fourteen short episodes by Mosaad Anwar, each twelve to sixteen minutes long. ¹ He himself names the programme 'The Prophet's Counsels to Women' («وصايا الرسول للنساء») in its first episode and welcomes listeners back to it under that name in later ones; the word 'Hamasat' is never spoken in the episodes. ^{2 3 4} Each episode rests on one hadith, whose collection and narrator he names, often with al-Albani's grading, which he supports with verses he describes, then with stories of the Companions, the Successors and present-day life, then with direct advice and a closing prayer. ⁵ He addresses Muslim women, at times turning to husbands, fathers and young men, and presents the twelfth episode as a counsel for women and men alike. ^{6 4} In the first episode he greets his listeners for the month and prays that they leave Ramadan freed from the Fire, and in the fifth he prays for their fasting and night prayer to be accepted, so both were recorded in Ramadan by his own words; no year is given. ^{2 7}

What this page holds is his explanation and advice; hadiths and their gradings are as he attributes them, and numbers are his statements. Contested points of fiqh and remarks about particular groups in these episodes are not written here; they are recorded in the lane's log.

Episode 1: The maker of men. Mosaad Anwar opens the programme during Ramadan, announcing it as the first episode of a new programme he has titled «وصايا الرسول للنساء» ('The Prophet's counsels to women'); the episode is called «صانعة الرجال» ('The maker of men'), and he asks why the Prophet ﷺ singled out women for so many counsels. ^{2 8} His answer is that woman is half of society and bears the other half, so that she is "a whole nation" and the soundness of the umma depends on hers; he cites the Arab saying that behind every great man stands a mother. ⁹ He recounts that Safiyya, widowed when al-Awwam died, spent her life raising her son al-Zubayr, making arrow-shaping his play and beating him hard when he erred; when one of his paternal uncles told her she beat him like one who hated him, she answered in verse that she beat him so he would grow shrewd and defeat armies, and al-Zubayr became one of the ten promised Paradise. ^{9 10} He says al-Bukhari grew up an orphan raised by his mother on love of knowledge and the Sunna, and that the mother of Sufyan al-Thawri told him to seek knowledge while she provided for him with her spindle. ^{11 12} He holds that because the man leaves at dawn after his livelihood, the true educator is the woman, and that a man who chose his wife well would set a whole generation right. ¹³ He lists women's firsts: the first to dwell at the Sanctuary was a woman, Hagar; the first martyr of Islam was a woman, Sumayya bint Khayyat; and the mother is put before the father three times. ¹⁴ He says the Qur'an has a sura named al-Nisa' ('Women') and none named for men, a sura named after a woman, Maryam, and one revealed over a woman's complaint, al-Mujadila. ¹⁵ He states that Islam made men and women equal in duties, reward and punishment except for the arduous duties, such as jihad, the Friday prayer and congregational prayers. ¹⁶ He says Islam counts a daughter as God's gift to her father, and that the Prophet commended women in the Farewell Sermon before more than a hundred thousand pilgrims, by his count; he mentions the hadith declaring inviolable the right of the two weak ones, the woman and the orphan, and the hadith on whoever raises two girls to maturity. ^{17 18 19} He says Islam made one killed defending his family's honour a martyr, and made woman an heir after she had been inherited. ^{20 21} He holds that Hagar's running between Safa and Marwa became a pillar without which Hajj and Umra are not valid, and that God set two women as examples for believers, Pharaoh's wife and Mary daughter of Imran. ^{22 23} He also discusses a saying he attributes to opponents of Islam and a story set in the gold market of Medina, which are not written here.

Episode 2: The counsel of chastity. He cites a hadith he attributes to Ibn Hibban from Abd al-Rahman ibn Awf, graded sound, he says, by al-Albani in Sahih al-Jami': a woman who performs the five prayers, fasts Ramadan, guards her chastity and obeys her husband enters Paradise by whichever gate she wishes; he says it holds four counsels and then dwells on one, chastity. ^{5 24 25} He holds that no religion commanded chastity as Islam did, citing the verses on the traits of the successful believers and the verse commanding restraint for those who cannot marry, and tells young people unable to marry that their path is restraint. ^{26 27 28} He cites the hadith in which the Prophet tells young men to marry if they can and otherwise to fast, attributing it to al-Bukhari from Ibn Mas'ud. ²⁹ He takes Mary, and Joseph with al-Aziz's wife, as two models of chastity, saying in his account that al-Aziz's wife was the king's niece and of surpassing beauty. ^{30 31 32} He cites the hadith of the seven whom God shades, among them a man who refused a woman of rank and beauty out of fear of God; the hadith promising Paradise to one who guards his tongue and his private parts; and a hadith he attributes to al-Tabarani meaning that men's chastity brings their women's chastity. ^{33 34 35} He tells the story of the date-seller and the water-carrier, which ends with the wife's words "a blow for a blow". ³⁶ He addresses the Muslim woman as a guarded pearl, protected by Islam through the lowering of the gaze and the ban on touch, and as a treasure kept until its owner, her husband, comes. ^{37 38} (See Chastity.)

Episode 3: Stories of chaste women. He says the episode continues the talk on chastity and repeats the Ibn Awf hadith. ³⁹ He then narrates the hadith of the three men in the cave, the first of whom left his cousin when she reminded him of God, so that the rock moved, and concludes that chastity guards one from evil ends. ^{40 41} From Ibn al-Jawzi's Dhamm al-Hawa he relates the story of the woman who said that one door remained unshut, the door between them and God. ⁴² He tells of the Bedouin woman who asked her pursuer where the Maker of the stars was, and of the neighbour who reminded the man chasing her that God was more worthy of fear than people. ^{43 44} He says Joseph heads the chaste among men. ⁴⁵ He tells the story of al-Rabi', the Kufan ascetic, over whom libertines wagered a singing-girl a thousand dinars for a kiss; he admonished her until she repented and was called "the worshipper of Kufa". ⁴⁵ From Dr al-Affani's Tartib al-Afwah he relates the story of Abu Bakr al-Miski, who escaped a woman who had lured him by smearing himself with filth, then dreamed that God had made his scent sweet, and for years gave off musk without perfume. ^{46 47} He closes by urging women to guard their honour and their husbands in their absence. ⁴⁸ He also tells two stories about veiling the face, which are not written here. (See Chastity.)

Episode 4: Asking for divorce without cause. He welcomes listeners back to "your programme, The Prophet's counsels to women", and cites a hadith he attributes to the authors of the Sunan, graded sound, he says, by al-Albani, warning that a woman who asks her husband for divorce when no harm has befallen her is denied the scent of Paradise; he glosses the absence of harm as the absence of a sharia reason or a strong, accepted excuse. ⁴⁹ He says God described marriage in the Qur'an as a solemn covenant, so Islam works to keep homes from breaking up and children from being lost. ⁵⁰ He cites the hadith forbidding a believer to hate his wife, since if he dislikes one trait he will like another, says no man or woman is without faults, and cites the verse on living with wives in kindness. ^{51 52} He holds that if the husband is upright, good-mannered and kind, the wife's request for divorce brings her under the warning, and cites a hadith he attributes to al-Bukhari that most of the people of the Fire are women because of ingratitude to their husbands. ^{53 54} He warns against the wife who demands divorce at every quarrel, is divorced, and regrets it while her children are lost, and says women have come to him after pressing for divorce, looking for someone to reconcile them. ^{55 56} He cites a hadith he attributes to Muslim in which Iblis holds dearest the one of his troops who separated a man from his wife. ⁵⁷ He says that, according to statistics he cites, divorce in "our countries" now outnumbers marriage, mostly among the newly married, and holds that the children of broken homes are raised by the street and become "Iblis's strategic reserve". ^{58 59} He also discusses the grounds on which he holds a wife may seek divorce, and the wisdom he sees in placing divorce in the husband's hand, which are not written here. (See Divorce.)

Episode 5: A woman in Paradise and a woman in the Fire. He opens by praying that the fasting and night prayers be accepted and that listeners not leave Ramadan unforgiven, so the episode was recorded in Ramadan. ⁷ He cites a hadith he attributes to al-Bukhari in al-Adab al-Mufrad and to Ahmad, Ibn Hibban and al-Hakim, from Abu Hurayra: a woman known for much prayer, fasting and charity who harms her neighbours with her tongue is in the Fire, and one with few extra devotions who gives pieces of dried curd and does not harm her neighbours is in Paradise; he glosses the dried curd as pieces of cheese. ^{7 60} He holds that Islam is not only hijab, Qur'an memorisation, tarawih and umra but creed, worship, law, manners and morals, citing the hadith that the Prophet was sent to perfect noble character and the hadith of the "bankrupt", which he attributes to Muslim. ^{61 62 63} He says lands in Southeast Asia, such as Indonesia, Malaysia and Bangladesh, entered Islam through the conduct of honest Muslim traders. ⁶⁴ He states that a neighbour has rights even if not a Muslim, and cites a hadith he attributes to al-Bukhari that Gabriel kept enjoining the neighbour until the Prophet thought he would make him an heir. ^{65 66} He says that Ibn Umar, whenever a sheep was slaughtered in his house, asked whether some had been sent to his Jewish neighbour, and narrates that a Jewish neighbour of Abdullah ibn al-Mubarak priced his house at two thousand dinars and asked as much again for having Ibn al-Mubarak as a neighbour; when Ibn al-Mubarak heard, he gave him the four thousand and asked him to stay. ^{67 68} He relates that a Canadian youth at an exhibition on Islam said Muslims were the first to break its rules of honesty, cleanliness and order, and that a French Muslim praised God for knowing Islam before knowing Muslims, and concedes that "we are a distorted image of Islam". ^{69 70} He ends by counselling women not to harm their women neighbours or belittle any kindness they do them. ⁷¹ (See Neighbourliness and Good character.)

Episode 6: A woman the Prophet prayed for. He holds that a woman for whom the Prophet prayed will most likely be happy in both worlds, and cites a hadith he attributes to Abu Dawud, al-Nasa'i, Ahmad and al-Hakim from Abu Hurayra (may God be pleased with him), praying for mercy on a man who rises at night and wakes his wife, and on a woman who rises and wakes her husband. ^{72 73} He describes homes built on obedience, remembrance and the Qur'an as homes on which tranquillity descends. ⁷⁴ He relays from Aisha that the Prophet stayed up through the last ten nights of Ramadan and woke his family, says that outside Ramadan he would call his aunt Safiyya and his daughter Fatima to night prayer, and that he knocked at night at the door of Fatima and Ali asking about their prayer. ^{75 76 77} He says Abu Hurayra divided the night among his household so that his house was never without someone praying. ⁷⁷ He narrates that al-Hasan ibn Salih sold a slave-girl who asked to be returned to him because her new household rose only for the dawn prayer. ⁷⁸ He narrates that Sila ibn Ashyam married Mu'adha al-Adawiyya and the two prayed on their wedding night until the dawn call, and that Sila said the hot bathhouse reminded him of Hell and the perfumed room of Paradise; he states it is Sunna for a groom to pray two rak'as with his bride on the wedding night. ^{79 80 81} He observes that most people know night prayer only in Ramadan, citing the hadith on the merit of night prayer after the obligatory prayers, which he attributes to Muslim, and the Prophet's first words in Medina, which he attributes to al-Tirmidhi. ^{82 83} He relays al-Hasan al-Basri's answer to a man who could not rise at night, that his sins had held him back, and counsels wives to encourage their husbands in Qur'an, night prayer and remembrance. ^{84 85} He also criticises people who stay up before screens, which is not written here. (See Night prayer.)

Episode 7: A woman the Prophet disowned. He cites a hadith he attributes to al-Bukhari and Muslim from Abu Hurayra, disowning the woman who strikes her cheeks, tears her clothes and cries out as in the Jahiliyya at a calamity; he explains the striking as a woman beating her face in discontent at a death, and counts lamentations of anguish as forbidden wailing. ^{86 87} He cites a hadith he attributes to Muslim on the punishment of a wailing woman who dies unrepentant, and the hadith that the dead are punished by their family's weeping, answering the objection that the Prophet wept over Hamza and Ibrahim by saying that wailing is meant. ^{88 89} He mentions the hadith disowning the woman who shrieks, shaves her head or tears her clothes in calamity, and states that tearing clothes is a major sin but not unbelief, so a woman needs repentance, not "restoring her religion". ^{90 91} He sets out what a Muslim woman does at a bereavement: submission and acceptance of the decree, then the istirja' and the prayer for reward and a better replacement. ^{92 93} He urges solace in the life of the Prophet, all of whose children died in his lifetime except Fatima, who died six months after him, as he states, and recounts his weeping over his son Ibrahim and his answer to Abd al-Rahman ibn Awf (may God be pleased with him) that it was mercy. ^{94 95} He narrates the story of Umm Sulaym, who hid her son's death until Abu Talha returned and then told him through the parable of a loan reclaimed, and says the Prophet blessed them and a son was born to them from whose line came nine, all memorisers of the Qur'an. ^{96 97} From Dr Muhammad Ismail al-Muqaddim's Awdat al-Hijab he relates the story of al-Asma'i and Umm Aqil, who said the istirja' on hearing of her son's death and ordered her guests honoured. ⁹⁸ He mentions the patience of al-Baqir when his son died, and of Umar ibn Abd al-Aziz when he lost his son Abd al-Malik, his brother Sahl and his servant Muzahim on three successive days. ^{99 100} (See Wailing and Patience.)

Episode 8: The husband's right over his wife. He presents it as a new counsel for the women of the umma, and cites a hadith he attributes to Ibn Majah and al-Hakim that a woman does not fulfil her Lord's right until she fulfils her husband's, the hadith on the best of women, and the hadith of prostration, which he attributes to al-Tirmidhi from Mu'adh ibn Jabal. ^{101 102 103} He then lists the rights: obedience in what is right but not in sin, not refusing him intimacy without excuse, and adorning herself for him. ^{104 105 106} He explains the Farewell Sermon's words on husbands making their wives lawful by God's word: the contract, with dower, two witnesses and public announcement, makes the forbidden lawful. ¹⁰⁷ He advises the wife to prepare an hour before her husband returns, pokes fun at the one who after the honeymoon turns from "a chirping sparrow" into "a roaring lion", and holds that adorning herself for him before the mirror is worship. ^{108 109 110} He states that after marriage the person with the greatest right over a woman is her husband, and over a man his mother, and advises her to give what she owes before asking for what she is owed. ^{111 112} He also discusses the verses on men's guardianship and the "degree", and the husband's permission for voluntary fasting, for going out and for travel, which are not written here. (See Rights of the spouses.)

Episode 9: Immodest display. He cites a hadith he attributes to Muslim from Abu Hurayra on two kinds of the people of the Fire whom the Prophet had not seen, one of them immodest women wearing clothes that do not cover them, who are denied Paradise and its scent, and holds that the hadith enjoins covering and chastity and forbids display. ^{113 114} He counsels women to go out only in what he calls "the garment of honour", which makes them feel their body's worth, rejects the idea that display is civilisation, and cites the verse forbidding the display of the people of the Jahiliyya. ^{115 116} He calls the follower of fashion "a slave of fashion", citing the hadith on the wretchedness of the slave of clothes. ¹¹⁷ He reminds the immodest woman of the grave and of God's questioning, and asks her where her modesty is. ¹¹⁸ He says Aisha entered her chamber, where the Prophet and then her father were buried, in house clothes, but once Umar was buried there she entered only fully veiled, out of modesty before him. ¹¹⁹ He glosses the hadith's description of their heads as wigs and hair piled up under the scarf, and qualifies the curse it mentions as general, not specific, so that no particular immodest woman may be cursed. ^{120 121} He cites the verse warning those who love indecency to spread, and holds that a good suitor chooses the covered woman and that pleasing people is a goal never reached. ^{122 123} He also makes statements about fashion houses, opponents of Islam, women's work and the media, and a prayer against those who call for nakedness, which are not written here. (See Hijab and Modesty.)

Episode 10: Charity, cursing and ingratitude to husbands. He cites a hadith he attributes to al-Bukhari and Muslim from Abu Sa'id al-Khudri: the Prophet went out to the prayer-ground on an Eid and told the women to give charity, for he had seen that they were most of the people of the Fire because they cursed much and were ungrateful to their husbands; he says it holds three counsels. ^{124 125} He holds that sadaqa is named from sidq ('truthfulness') as proof of sincere faith, citing the hadith that charity is a proof, which he attributes to Muslim from Abu Malik al-Ash'ari, and the hadith that charity puts out sin as water puts out fire. ^{126 127} He says the women Companions threw their earrings, rings and bracelets into the lap of Bilal, who was collecting the alms. ¹²⁸ From Shaykh Atiyya Salim, a scholar of the Prophet's Mosque originally from Egypt, he relates the story of an old woman in Medina who fell into a deep water channel for three days; she used to give a bowl of milk each morning to her neighbours' orphans, and the bowl came to her in the dark twice a day. ¹²⁹ His second counsel is that a woman should not be given to cursing nor pray against her children, but pray for their guidance. ^{130 131} The third is not to deny her husband's favour, and here he tells the story of al-Ma'mun's wife and the day of the perfumed mud, and of Zubayda, Harun al-Rashid and the thirty thousand dinars. ^{132 133 134} He closes with the hadith that whoever does not thank people does not thank God. ¹³⁵ (See Charity, Cursing and Rights of the spouses.)

Episode 11: Turning a wife against her husband. He cites a hadith he attributes to al-Bukhari and Ahmad from Abu Hurayra, disowning whoever corrupts a wife against her husband, and holds that Islam has closed every road to broken homes and that whoever wrecks homes follows Iblis. ^{136 137} He says many homes have been wrecked by mothers urging their daughters to seek divorce, or by the husband's mother urging her son, and warns against envious women. ^{138 139 140} He narrates the story of the Prophet with Fatima and Ali, whom he found asleep in the mosque, called "Abu Turab" and brought home, and praises him as the best of fathers-in-law, who did not intervene where his daughter had made no complaint. ^{141 142} He narrates that Asma' complained of al-Zubayr to Abu Bakr, who told her to be patient and then made peace between them; he advises fathers to hear both sides, and observes that parents want to run their children's homes although times have changed. ^{143 144} He also cites a hadith that a man is not to be asked why he struck his wife, which is not written here. (See Rights of the spouses.)

Episode 12: An easy dower. He welcomes listeners back to the programme 'The Prophet's counsels to women' with a counsel for women and men, and cites a hadith he attributes to Ahmad, Ibn Hibban and al-Hakim from Aisha, that an easy proposal, an easy dower and an easy childbearing are signs of blessing in a woman; he explains this as a family that does not inflate the dower or complicate the proposal. ^{4 145} He states that the dower is not a price for the woman but "a pledge of affection and a token of respect". ¹⁴⁶ He holds that it has no upper limit, and that its minimum is the smallest monetary value or a religious benefit such as teaching her a sura of the Qur'an, while Islam commanded easy dowers and the Prophet began with himself: the dower of Fatima was a coat of mail of small value. ^{147 148 149} He criticises fathers who treat their daughters as "investments", and describes Aisha's household as a palm-frond bed, a hand-mill, a waterskin and a reed mat. ^{150 151} He narrates that the father of Abdullah ibn al-Mubarak was a Turkish slave guarding a pomegranate orchard who had not tasted a single pomegranate in a whole year without his master's leave, so his master freed him and married him to his daughter. ^{152 153} He narrates that Sa'id ibn al-Musayyib turned down Abd al-Malik ibn Marwan's proposal of his daughter for his son al-Walid and married her to his student Abdullah ibn Abi Wada'a for two dirhams, bringing her to him that same night, and that she told her husband she would teach him Sa'id's knowledge. ^{154 155 156 157} He says that Egypt has twelve million unmarried women, by his count, because of complications made by fathers and mothers. ¹⁵⁸ He also discusses the division of roles between spouses, and a remark on why followers of different religions marry that occurs in one of his stories, which are not written here. (See Mahr.)

Episode 13: Prayer. He returns to the Ibn Awf hadith, attributing it this time to Ibn Hibban and al-Tabarani, and takes the first of its four counsels, prayer. ¹⁵⁹ He says it is the second pillar and the support of religion, and that it was prescribed above the heavens during the Night Journey and Ascension, unlike the other commands, which Gabriel brought down to earth. ^{160 161} He cites the hadith of Ibn Mas'ud on the deeds God loves most, which he attributes to Muslim, the hadith that a servant is nearest his Lord in prostration, and the hadith qudsi on the dividing of the prayer. ^{162 163 164} He says prayer was the first duty after affirming God's oneness, the first thing a servant is judged on and the Prophet's last counsel, and cites the hadith on telling children to pray at seven. ^{165 166} He mentions the prayer of the prophets Zechariah, David, Moses and Jesus. ¹⁶⁷ He cites the hadith of the man whose heart is attached to mosques, and relays that al-Rabi' ibn Khuthaym found comfort in the mosque's sparrow. ^{168 169} He limits the restraining power of prayer over indecency to prayer offered with reflection and humility, and states that prayer is lifted only from the insane and the menstruating woman. ^{170 171} He cites the Prophet's words to Bilal about finding rest in prayer and Aisha's description of him when prayer time came, and counsels women not to be distracted from prayer by a television drama, cooking or a chat with a neighbour. ^{172 173} He also cites a hadith on the bonds of Islam coming undone, the first being governance, which is not written here. (See Humility in prayer.)

Episode 14: The guardian and 'urfi marriage. He opens with the verse on spouses created from among ourselves for tranquillity, affection and mercy, calls marriage a blessing to be thanked, and glosses the tranquillity as rest and calm, whence a home is called sakan. ^{174 175} He holds that homes stand not on keeping accounts but on generosity, each spouse giving all he or she can to make the other happy. ¹⁷⁶ He holds that the conditions of marriage are the guardian's consent, the bride's consent, the dower, witnesses and public announcement, citing hadiths he attributes to Ahmad, al-Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah. ^{177 178} He warns girls against marrying behind their fathers' backs, says that "'urfi marriage" lacking the pillars of the contract has spread, and describes its forms: the "blood-print", words recorded on a cassette, and a printed paper witnessed by two young men. ^{179 180} He says those who have married in this way number "tens of thousands, without exaggeration", by his count. ¹⁸¹ He cites the elder of Midian telling Moses that he wished to marry him to one of his daughters, and the marriage of Zaynab bint Jahsh after Zayd divorced her. ¹⁸² He contrasts the girl whose suitor comes to her home and who has a wedding celebration with the one who marries in secret, and asks the young man whether he would accept this for his sister. ¹⁸³ He also discusses marriage between jinn and humans, marriage to a woman of the People of the Book, the guardian's role for an older or previously married woman and for one whose father obstructs her marriage, and calls 'urfi marriage fornication, which are not written here. (See Marriage and Guardianship over the person.)