Sabr (patience and steadfast endurance)

Patience under harm and persecution for the sake of the call, and what steadies believers in hardship. Al-Rahiq al-Makhtum counts among the causes of the Companions' steadfastness faith in God, the leadership of the Prophet ﷺ, a sense of responsibility, faith in the Hereafter, the Qur'an, and the good news of success. ¹

The book mentions causes of the Muslims' steadfastness under persecution: faith in God and true knowledge of Him ¹; then the leadership of the Prophet and the perfection of his character, including what was related of his beauty and perfection ¹; then the sense of responsibility from which no one turns aside ²; then faith in the Hereafter, and that this world is not worth the wing of a gnat ³; then the Qur'an, which steadied them and answered the obstinate ³; and then the good news of success, that Islam aims to remove the Jahiliyya ⁴.

• These causes are the author's reflection on the life of the Companions, and the museum presents them as the book sets them out.

The Sheikh says patience is the first stage of the first half of faith, and that the believer's first trial is patience under affliction. ⁵ He holds that the believer should be glad he is still steadfast, and that trials are in wealth or in health. ⁶ He says patience is not innate but acquired by practice. ⁷ He holds that patience drives away anxiety and treats the feeling of weakness. ⁸ He holds that whoever is tried and is patient is raised, and that trials refine the believer as fire refines gold, so the impurities rise and are removed. ^{9 10} He tells an illustration of oil and water, attributed to Ibn al-Jawzi, which could not be checked in the recording (needs_source). ¹¹ He says that visiting the sick lightens the trial, since many people are afflicted. ¹² He relates that whoever says the words of return at a calamity receives blessings from his Lord (needs_source). ¹³ He tells of al-Ahnaf ibn Qays, whose nephew killed his son: he kept silent, then forgave, then paid the blood money from his own wealth, which he presents as patience with anger (needs_source). ^{14 15} He offers a practical exercise when angry: seek refuge in God, write the angry letter and keep it, then reread it after a day; he holds that this cools anger (his view). ^{16 17}

He tells of a man whose ship was wrecked on a deserted island, where he lit a fire that was later followed by a passing boat that rescued him; he concludes that a person should never despair (needs_source: unnamed-parable) ^{18 19}.

When affliction comes, he suggests three positions: that it is a test and a sign of nearness to God, that the alternative to patience is despair, and that the prophets are the most tried of people ²⁰. He calls for remembering those who suffer greater trials, such as illness, divorce, undutiful children and homelessness (needs_source: figure-unclear) ²¹. He quotes sociologists (needs_source: unnamed-saying) that one struck from behind advances, and urges the believer to be like a tree that is pelted with stones and returns fruit ²².

He describes children mocking a boy who prays at school, and holds that the sincere believer bears this patiently Qur'an 83:29 ²³. He holds that patience with a matter makes the heart sound ²⁴. He sees Hajar's patience and trust in God as good upbringing: she never spoke ill of her son's father, which is a lesson for mothers and wives after separation ²⁵. He sets two options before her: patience and trust, since it is God's command, or argument, if it was Ibrahim's own judgement (needs_source: third-question-garbled) ²⁶.

He uses the image of oil that rises above water only after bearing pressure, and comments on the pressures of work ²⁷. A means of patience, he says, is to ask oneself what the Prophet would have done before answering one's wife; he counts bearing harm among the meanings of the expansion of the breast ²⁸.

He holds that faith has two halves, patience and gratitude, and that the work of a teacher, doctor, worker or manager cannot be right without patience ²⁹. Patience helps one control feelings and tongue: the patient person owns his tongue before he speaks ³⁰. He attributes divorce to lack of patience, citing a rate of about sixty-five percent in some Muslim countries (needs_source: divorce-rate-unsourced) ³¹.

He suggests to the traffic police that reckless young drivers be sent to graze sheep in the desert for a month or two, and cites a saying attributed to Ali on patience ³². He describes a village custom of smearing a mother's breast with bitter aloe juice to wean an infant, and explains the plant's name as meaning one that endures dryness (needs_source: folk-etymology) ³³ and cites God's command to the Prophet to pray and endure in it Qur'an 20:132. He holds that steady patience becomes habit and character, and cites God's address to believers to be steadfast Qur'an 3:200 ³⁴.

He says that restraining anger is patience, and refers to a man asked about his origin who answered that the matter is one of patience (needs_source: garbled-story) ³⁵. He recounts a test in which strong men each pressed another's finger, and only the impatient turned red; he holds that true courage is patience at the start of provocation, not winning by force (needs_source: demonstration-unverified) ³⁶. He recounts a young man who insults a man who receives the insults patiently, and holds that forbearance and generosity are signs of good manners (needs_source: anecdote-garbled) ³⁷.

The Sheikh illustrates how worries differ with a student who complains that he wants a job, then a marriage, then a house ³⁸. He quotes the words of a wronged man, who says that if his enemies imprison him his prison is seclusion with God, if they kill him his death is martyrdom, and if they exile him his exile is travel ³⁹. The Sheikh remarks that the man's enemies can do no more than imprison, kill or exile him, and that imprisonment is then seclusion and killing martyrdom ⁴⁰. He then asks whether the person killed dies by the killer's act or by the term written for him ⁴⁰. He holds that a husband's patience with his wife may bring him into Paradise, as may hers with him, and he calls for thanks to God for a good wife ⁴¹.

The Sheikh asks whether calamity is, on the face of it, good or bad, and says the verse shows that nothing befalls us except what God has written for us ⁴². He concludes that calamity is therefore in a person's favour since God wrote it for him, and cites the hadith that the believer's affair is entirely good: if blessing touches him he gives thanks, and if harm touches him he is patient ⁴³.

The Sheikh says the first level of the first half of faith, which is the patience by which a believer enters Paradise, is patience in affliction ⁴⁴. He holds that the key to Paradise after the oneness of God is patience and gratitude, and that when affliction strikes the afflicted person should hand his affair over to God and say the words of return to Him Al-Baqara 156 ⁴⁵. He offers what he calls a faith prescription: enter by the door of patience, for he takes it that behind the door of patience lies the door of Paradise ⁴⁶. He urges learning patience beginning with spouses, since some complain that a wife talks too much and others that a husband says too little ⁴⁷. He describes types of spouses, noting that some wives magnify small matters ⁴⁸. He describes an easygoing husband who leaves his wife to manage the economic and social affairs, such as visits, congratulations and condolences, and jokes that she is the director of public relations and the minister of foreign affairs and of the interior ⁴⁹. He advises newlyweds who complain after two years to be patient for three or four more, until each understands the other's personality ⁵⁰. He holds that the first stage of patience is with a wife who is meticulous and loves precision, and that the husband should learn patience with her in that ⁵¹. He jokes that precision is not his own habit, and suggests that anyone whose wife talks a great deal should try patience with her first ⁵². He holds that homes and societies crack only when patience dissolves, and that once it is gone people begin to harm one another ⁵³. He calls for tolerance toward a curious colleague, taking in his questions rather than trying to raise him in one's own way ⁵⁴. He comments on the verse about repelling evil with what is better, saying that the person with whom you have enmity becomes through it like a close friend, and that only the patient attain this quality Fussilat 34 Fussilat 35 ⁵⁵. He notes that the verse after it commands seeking refuge with God from the prompting of Satan Fussilat 36 ⁵⁵. He calls for doing good to a nephew, a cousin, a neighbour and a colleague for God's sake alone, when one counts everything one does as done for God ⁵⁶. He relates that Socrates had a foul-mouthed and short-tempered wife (needs_source) ⁵⁶. He relates that Socrates advised a young man to marry, telling him that if his wife was good he would be happy all his life, and otherwise he would become a philosopher (needs_source) ⁵⁷. He calls for patience with the traits of a spouse that do not change, and tells of a well-known humorous poet in Egypt who said he had learnt humour from his wife's bad temper toward him, fleeing from her and composing a funny poem (needs_source) ⁵⁸. He urges starting today with the first of the keys to Paradise, which is learning patience with a husband, a wife, children, neighbours, colleagues and relatives, and says that patience is a faculty ⁵⁹. He cites the command to pray and to command one's family to pray Ta-Ha 132 ⁵⁹. He tells of an obeyed chief who sat with his knees drawn up among his followers when someone whispered to him that his nephew had killed his son; he finished what he was saying, the killer was brought in bound so that he would not escape, and the chief ordered him freed (needs_source) ⁶⁰. He says the chief paid the blood-money for his son out of his own property, and the case was closed (needs_source) ⁶¹. He gives a practical tip: if your brother or friend angers you, do not write an angry message and send it at once, but write it somewhere else and look it over first ⁶².

The Sheikh proposes that reckless young drivers spend two months as shepherds instead of having their licences withdrawn, so that they learn patience ⁶³. He holds that shepherding teaches manners and patience, and he laments the case of a young man who drives at a hundred and ninety, whose car overturns and who dies, leaving his mother bereaved (needs_source) ⁶⁴.

He says that beautiful patience is patience without complaint to people, and that complaint is made to God alone. ^{65 66} He says that the Qur'an speaks of beautiful forgiveness and beautiful parting, and that beautiful patience means not complaining to people. ⁶⁷ He distinguishes patience from gratitude: gratitude to God means submitting to His commands, such as prayer, while beautiful patience is patience without complaint. ⁶⁸

He likens patience to a steady mount that does not stumble and carries a person to Paradise, and he says contentment and thanks come with it. ⁶⁹ He says that the hasty person who drives his mount too hard arrives at no destination, whereas patience steadies the nerves and lets a person solve his problems step by step. ⁷⁰ He holds that impatience restores nothing: if a person loses wealth, health or standing, fretting gains him nothing. ⁷¹

He holds that a person should know that God loves the one He tests, and cites the Qur'anic praise of Ayyub for his patience (the verse is not cited by number in the recording). ⁷² He cites a hadith that the prophets are tested most, then the righteous, and that trial is in proportion to a person's faith, so a strong believer is tested more. ⁷³ He says that one should be patient in obedience to God, with God and for God, and that this must never come at God's expense. ⁷⁴ He says that patience with the envious is required, since their envy consumes them as fire does. ⁷⁵

He says that the patience of the ruled follows the patience of the ruler, and that the reward for patience after a loss is greater than the loss itself. ⁷⁶ He holds that children should be taught patience through the examples of earlier generations, who had less and endured more. ⁷⁷