The conditions and manners of giving advice (nasiha)

A question about the rules for advising a younger brother who raised his voice at his elder brother, in which Dar al-Ifta al-Misriyya answered that advice is among the finest of manners, provided it is sincerely for God, given in private wherever possible, offered gently and kindly, not made conditional on acceptance, and not productive of appreciable harm. ¹

The questioner said that a man met with his brothers to consult on some family matters, and during the discussion his younger brother raised his voice at their eldest brother; he wishes to advise the younger brother not to repeat this behaviour, and asked whether there are conditions and rules he must observe in offering the advice. ¹

Dar al-Ifta began with the standing of advice, one of the greatest pillars of affection and unity, by which lapses are corrected; it defined it with al-Sharif al-Jurjani in al-Ta'rifat (p. 241) as calling to what is right and forbidding what is corrupt, and with al-Nasafi in his commentary (1/576) that the essence of advice is wanting for another the good one wants for oneself. It cited the hadith of Tamim al-Dari in Sahih Muslim that religion is sincere counsel, which al-Nawawi in his commentary (2/37) calls a hadith of great moment on which Islam turns, and the hadith of Abu Hurayra in Sahih Muslim on a Muslim's rights over a Muslim, among them that when he asks you for advice you should advise him. ¹ It then set out two views on the ruling of advice. The first holds it obligatory in both cases, whether offered unasked or in answer to a request, with disagreement over whether the duty is individual or collective, as held by Ibn Battal in his commentary on al-Bukhari (1/129), al-Ayni in Umdat al-Qari (1/322), al-Nafrawi in al-Fawakih al-Dawani (2/292) and al-Adawi in his gloss on Kifayat al-Talib (2/426). The second distinguishes unsolicited advice, which is recommended, from advice a Muslim asks for, which becomes obligatory on the one asked, as Muhammad al-Tahir ibn Ashur says in his collected essays (1/332). ¹

Dar al-Ifta then detailed the rules that prepare advice for acceptance. It began by noting that advice covers matters of religion and of this world alike, as Ibn Juzayy says in al-Qawanin al-Fiqhiyya (p. 730) and al-Munawi in Fayd al-Qadir (5/387), but that it weighs on people, who by nature dislike having their faults exposed, so sharia laid down manners for it. The first is that it be truthful and sincerely for God, not for fame or gloating, citing the agreed-upon hadith of Umar that deeds are judged by intentions. ¹ The second is that it be given in private, not in public, to protect the dignity of the person advised, which was the way of the early Muslims: al-Shafi'i is reported, in Abu Nu'aym's Hilyat al-Awliya, to have said that whoever admonishes his brother in private has advised and adorned him, while whoever admonishes him in public has exposed and betrayed him; Sufyan ibn Uyayna, as reported by Ali ibn al-Madini, said that Mis'ar liked to be told his faults between himself and the adviser, not before people; Ibn Qudama in Mukhtasar Minhaj al-Qasidin (p. 102) says advice should be private; Ibn Rajab in Jami al-Ulum wa-l-Hikam (1/225) says the early Muslims admonished in private; and Ibn Hajar in Fath al-Bari (1/81) says private advice is better than public. ¹ The third is that it be indirect, by allusion rather than explicit statement, when allusion achieves the aim; if the person does not understand, explicit speech becomes necessary to the extent needed. This was the Prophet's way of not naming the wrongdoer and saying only 'what is the matter with people who...', as in the story of Barira, reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim from Aisha, when the Prophet stood on the pulpit to condemn the stipulating of conditions not in God's Book; Ibn Hazm gathers these manners in al-Akhlaq wa-l-Siyar (p. 45). ¹ The fourth is that it be offered with gentleness, courtesy and kindness, since people are led by a kind word, citing Aisha's hadith in Sahih Muslim that gentleness adorns whatever it touches, and al-Nafrawi's statement that advice is given in soft speech. ¹ The fifth is that the adviser not make the other's acceptance a condition of giving it, since his duty is only to offer the advice, not to guarantee its acceptance; Ibn Hazm says that whoever advises on condition of being heeded is unjust. ¹ The sixth is that the advice not bring appreciable harm on the adviser or the advised, now or later; if the adviser thinks it likely to end in a preponderant harm, he should not proceed, by the hadith of Ibn Abbas in Ibn Majah that there is no harm and no reciprocating harm, which al-Shatibi in al-Muwafaqat (3/61) calls an established rule, while al-Zarkashi in al-Manthur (2/321) says harm is not removed by harm, and Ibn Battal says advice is binding when the adviser is safe from harm, but if he fears injury he is excused. ¹

Dar al-Ifta concluded that the man's advising his younger brother not to raise his voice again at their eldest brother is among the finest of manners and part of the lawful mutual counsel that sharia encourages, provided the advice is sincerely for God, given in private wherever possible, offered gently and kindly in suitable words without shaming or wounding, not made conditional on his acceptance, and not productive of appreciable harm now or later, so that it may bear its fruit in the fullest way. ¹

Dar al-Ifta al-Misriyya published this fatwa on dar-alifta.org as no. 9020, dated 21 July 2026, in the category of manners and ethics, among the fatwas of the Grand Mufti Nazir Muhammad Ayyad. ¹ The museum records this text as a historical document attributed to the body or scholar that issued it; it issues no ruling of its own.