Nasiha (sincere counsel)

Nasiha (sincere counsel) is the wish for good for the one counselled, and doing good for him in intention and in deed. In the hadith of Tamim al-Dari it is said that "religion is sincere counsel": to God, to His Book, to His Messenger, to the leaders of the Muslims, and to their common folk. ¹

Ibn Rajab relates from al-Khattabi that the root of nasiha in the language is sincerity. For God it means soundness of belief in His oneness and sincerity of intention in worshipping Him; for His Book, belief in it and acting by what it contains; for His Messenger, affirming his prophethood and giving obedience to him in what he commanded and forbade; and for the common Muslims, guiding them to their interests. ²

He relates from Ibn al-Salah a detailed account of the counsel due to each of these. He notes that counsel appears in the pledge of Jarir ibn Abd Allah: "on establishing prayer, giving the alms, and counsel to every Muslim." ²

Ibn Rajab relates from Abu Dawud that it is one of the hadiths on which jurisprudence turns, and from Muhammad ibn Aslam al-Tusi that it is one of the quarters of religion. ²

The Sheikh recalls that religion is sincere advice, and lists those to whom it is owed: to God, to His messenger, to the leaders of the Muslims and to their common folk (needs_source). ³

The Sheikh holds that a Muslim who has advice to give should not expose the person; he takes the boy or the girl aside and speaks with them in private ⁴.

He advises a man whose wife is grieving for her late father to console her with gentle words that open the heart, since the father was her support and part of her, and she may weep for him a week or two ⁵.

He suggests that the husband speak well of the departed and pray that God grant us a good ending as He granted him, so that the wife feels he loves her and her heart inclines to him, for her father and her son are among the dearest people to her ⁶.

He says there is a great difference between a tender word such as "may God have mercy on him" and a dry reproach, for the kind word leaves a reserve of affection ⁷.

He tells a humorous story of a man who was advised to go home after a quarrel, enter the kitchen and make his wife a cup of tea; he took the words literally and ended up sleeping in the hall (needs_source) ⁸.

The Sheikh tells of a wife who said to her husband that the faults were hers and that she was the one who should ask forgiveness. He ties this to God's saying about Zakariyya that He set right his wife for him, and understands from it that God sets each spouse right for the other ⁹.

He compares reform to a triangle with two sides, a base and an apex: one who wants to reform should not go to either side but to the apex, because reconciliation comes from above, that is, from first putting right one's relationship with God and not from changing the other party ¹⁰.

He relays a traditional saying of pious people to the effect that they put right what lay between them and their Lord, so God made peace between the wolf and the sheep (needs_source) ¹¹.