A wife intervening when her husband disciplines his children

A question about a wife intervening when her husband disciplines his children, in which Ibn Baz answered that she may intervene with wisdom and a good manner when the husband is excessive in discipline, preferably when the children are not present, but that she should not intervene in appropriate discipline and should rather support him in it. ¹

The questioner asked: may a wife speak up to her husband when he disciplines his children? ¹

Ibn Baz answered that there is no harm in a wife intervening in the matter when the husband is excessive in discipline and lacks insight in it, but with wisdom, a good manner and good words, not with harshness and severity, nor with methods that lead him to leave her or insult her. ¹ When he disciplines soundly and appropriately, however, she should not intervene, since that would turn the children against him; rather she should support him in it, pray for him, encourage him, and help him discipline them in ways that benefit them and restrain them from wrong. ¹ He said that some fathers are greatly excessive and misplace discipline, punishing a small matter with many things; if the wife intervenes in such a case in a proper way and good manner that does not turn the children against him, or at another time when the children are not present, that is safer and better, unless the matter is so serious that it cannot be borne, in which case she may intervene in their presence; but if her intervention can take place between the two of them at another time, telling him that discipline should be of such-and-such a kind, by way of advice and cooperation in good, there is no harm. ¹ When the discipline is appropriate, in its proper place and within the limits, she should support him in it and encourage him both in front of the children and in their absence. ¹

This answer was published on binbaz.org.sa, the official site of Ibn Baz's legacy, as no. 4120 under the heading of raising children, with no date on the page. ¹ The museum records this text as a historical document attributed to the body or scholar that issued it; it issues no ruling of its own.