Restraining anger (kazm al-ghayz)

Sheikh Omar Abdelkafy holds that restraining anger is a deed of great standing with God, and that anger that is not restrained can ruin homes and sever a son's bond with his father. ¹ He holds that pardon is the fruit of restraint, and that patience with someone who offends is the real test. ^{2 3}

He holds that restraining anger is a deed of great standing with God, that Islam takes account of the human self before someone who provokes it with heavy jesting, and that anger not restrained can ruin homes and sever a son's bond with his father. ¹ He begins with mercy toward the one who errs. He says that every person makes mistakes, that the Prophet ﷺ alone is protected from error, and that restraining anger calls for covering the faults of the one who errs. ⁴

He advises the person whom someone lower than him at work or at home has angered not to rush into punishment or dismissal, but to remember God's power over him, so that he keeps his dignity and rises above revenge. ⁵

He says that restraining anger leads to pardon and then to kindness, that modesty and loftiness of soul are among the causes of restraint, and that whoever does good to someone guards himself against that person's harm through his kindness. ²

He warns that nervous tension, high blood pressure and heart disease result from anger, says that many patients in intensive care units suffered in this way, and holds that anger that is not restrained harms health (needs_source: the medical claim is unsourced). ⁶

At the moment of anger he recommends changing one's position, performing ablution and praying. He likens this to a student who sets a goal, and holds that a person is honoured by determination and purpose on the way to God. ⁷

He holds that restraining anger is patience, and points to an occasion when a man is asked about his origin and answers that the matter is one of patience (needs_source: the story is garbled in the recording). ⁸ He recounts the story of a young man who insulted another man, and the other man received the insults with patience, saying that he heard them the first time without answering. He adds that forbearance and generosity are signs of good manners, and that moments of crisis are the real place of patience (needs_source: the story is garbled in some of its details). ³ He reports that the caliph complained of his wife, describing her as one who washes clothes, cooks and raises the children, and comments that patience with bad character is a way by which Paradise is hoped for (needs_source: the account is garbled). ⁹

He gives a saying attributed to Jesus about Iblis's question of when he can overcome the son of Adam. It says that when the son of Adam is angry he is in Iblis's hand like a ball in the hand of a boy, and that he goes beyond his limits in anger. ¹⁰

He criticises those who vent their anger in backbiting, insults, and calling people foolish and backward. He holds that anger which is not restrained turns into words that wound people and spoil gatherings. ¹¹