Children's rights (huquq al-abna)

In his lesson "the rights of children over parents", Sheikh Omar Abdelkafy covers what a child is owed by his father and mother, before and after birth: choosing a righteous mother, a good name, aqiqa and tahnik, upbringing, and memorising the Qur'an. ^{1 2}

The Sheikh says that the first right of a child over his father is that the father choose him a righteous mother, and that this is a right the child will claim on the Day of Resurrection. ² He says that a righteous wife is not the father's right alone but the child's right too. ³

He recounts that a man complained to Umar ibn al-Khattab (may God be pleased with him) of his son's disobedience; the son replied that his father had not chosen him a good mother. Umar told the father that he had wronged his son, and that the son had not wronged him. ^{4 5}

The Sheikh says the Prophet ﷺ changed the names of many Companions whose names had bad meanings, and that a father should choose a good name for his son. ^{6 7} He recounts the story of a man called Hazn who refused to change the name his father had given him, and says that the grief did not leave his house afterwards (needs_source: the name and details are not clear in the transcript). ^{8 9} He says a person will be called on the Day of Resurrection by his name and his father's name, so the choice should be made well. ¹⁰

The Sheikh says the aqiqa is made on the seventh, fourteenth or twenty-first day: two sheep or rams for a boy and one for a girl (needs_source: the days and numbers are spoken once in the transcript). ¹¹ He says a boy is held in pledge by his aqiqa, and that the hair is shaved for a boy but not for a girl. ^{12 13} He describes tahnik on the seventh day: a date is chewed and rubbed on the newborn's palate with a clean finger. Tahnik ¹⁴

The Sheikh cites a saying on the stages of a child's upbringing: seven years of play, then seven years of discipline (needs_source: the third stage is not clear in the transcript). ¹⁵ He recounts that a man told the Prophet he had ten children (needs_source: the number is spoken once in the transcript) and had never kissed one of them, and that the answer was that whoever shows no mercy will not be shown mercy. ^{16 17} He urges tenderness towards daughters in particular. ¹⁸ He counts among the best things a parent can leave to his children that they memorise the Qur'an by heart, and says parents are honoured when their son or daughter does so. ^{19 20} Memorisation of the Qur'an He holds that from the age of fourteen (needs_source: the number is spoken once in the transcript) the father should guide his son and the mother her daughter, and should not leave them to companions without guidance. ²¹ He cites a saying that whoever begins a good practice has its reward and the reward of those who follow it, and whoever begins a bad one bears its burden. ²²

He cites the saying that every shepherd is responsible for his flock: a man is a shepherd over his household, and a woman over her home. ²³ He holds that among young people belonging should begin with religion, followed by belonging to the land, the family and the homeland. ²⁴

The speaker counts it among children's rights that they be taught the history of their fathers and forefathers ²⁵ (needs_source: partly garbled). He sets out parents' duties towards their own parents, their sons and their daughters, and gives his reasons ²⁶. He cites a survey of female students smoking at a Cairo university, attributed to "one of the universities" with no study named (needs_source: the figure of 74% has no traced source and should not be relied on before re-listening) ²⁷.