Grief and worry (al-huzn)

Sheikh Omar Abdelkafy distinguishes grief over what has passed (huzn) from worry about what is to come (hamm). He says that grief left untreated grows into harder states, among them kamad, bath, constriction of the chest and distress, and he compares this to a tree that sends out many branches. ¹ He says that the disease is grief planted in the heart, and that its cure is love of God and righteous action. ²

The Sheikh separates grief over what has happened from worry, which is the anticipation of what may happen. ³ He holds that grief over what is past, such as the loss of a land purchase, is blameworthy. He describes worry as the expectation of harm to work, health or the schooling of one's children, and holds that both turn the heart away from God. ⁴ He cites a hadith in which the Prophet ﷺ seeks refuge from worry, grief and other conditions of the soul. ⁵

The Sheikh holds that grief which dominates a person's day is a sign of weak faith, and that strong faith protects against it. ⁶ He gives the example of a man whose father is in surgery and whose wife is distressed, and says that the man's grief shows how weak his faith is. ⁷ He says that grief weakens faith, that weakened faith weakens the body's immunity, and that small illnesses then overcome people (needs_source: a medical claim not sourced in the recording). ⁸

He describes kamad as a darkening of the face and brow in a grieving person, and says that it can grow into bath, a state in which a person is no longer gathered within himself, which he distinguishes from ordinary grief. ^{9 10} He says that a person who reaches kamad becomes like something of no account, and that this is a disease whose remedy he will set out in its place. ^{11 12} He says that grief sinks into sorrow and then into depression, and that untreated depression brings fear of poverty and panic about the future, which he calls restlessness (needs_source: claims about the course of depression are not sourced in the recording). ^{13 14} He holds that forgetting God leads a person into depression and despair (needs_source: the causal claim is not sourced in the recording). ¹⁵ He adds that grief over the past leads to depression and illness (needs_source: a medical claim not sourced in the recording). ¹⁶ He describes a constricted chest as making the world shrink in the eyes of its owner to the size of the eye of a needle, so that he overlooks blessings such as health and air. ¹⁷ He cites a Qur'anic passage in which the Prophet is told not to destroy himself with grief over those who do not believe, and holds that one who reaches this state reaches kamad (the sura is not named in the recording). ¹⁸

He advises listeners to hear the stories of the righteous and to rely on God, and holds that worry comes from a lack of reliance; when a problem comes, one should pray. ²⁰ He says that worries such as a job seeker's wait, a son failing at university or a daughter's suitor are solved by supplication, not by grief. ²¹ He cites a hadith that the Prophet turned to prayer when distress came upon him, and that patience and prayer are the means of help. ²² He recounts the counsel of a sage among the Arabs: turn away from one's worries, entrust one's affairs to God, and relief comes through prayer, sincerity, seeking forgiveness and charity. ²³ He tells of a woman who did not let grief reach her heart, and advises placing a barrier between grief and oneself, and listening to the stories of the righteous. ²⁴

He asks what a person gains from prolonged grief, and holds that trials are normal and are met with patience and self-training. ²⁵ He lists real trials, such as a sick wife, a harsh husband, a harmful neighbour, a disobedient son and failure at work, and says that the answer to them is patience and forbearance. ²⁶ He says that grief removes blessing from a person's life, and fear destroys his sense of security. ²⁷ He sums up that grief planted in the heart grows into worry, sorrow and constriction, and that the cure is love of God and righteous action. ²⁸